4931 Famous Quotes In Our Database

522 Silly Quotes

This is page 14 of 35 pages displaying a total of 522 Silly quotes.
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My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him.

What I said was scathing, unneccesarily blunt and contained wild tangents of untruth.

Please excuse Fred for being. It was his father's fault.

When I can't be bothered to be lazy I just give in and do work.

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

"Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them."

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.

Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

Sign at a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished?

How do you do? Do what?

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.