4931 Famous Quotes In Our Database
205 Thoughts Quotes
This is page 2 of 14 pages displaying a total of 205 Thoughts quotes.
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| Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. |
| The ignorant always seem so certain and the intelligent so uncertain. |
| Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants. |
| He who laughs last has no sense of humour. |
| Cigarette, n.: A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between. |
| A rose by any other name still has thorns. |
| I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals. |
| If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them. |
| I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh. |
| Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games. |
| In Germany, Gunther Burpus remained wedged in his front-door cat flap for two days because passers-by thought he was a piece of installation art. Mr Burpus, 41, of Bremen, was using the flap because he had mislaid his keys. Unfortunately he was spotted by a group of student pranksters who removed his trousers and pants, painted his bottom bright blue, stuck a daffodil between his buttocks and erected a sign saying 'Germany Resurgent, an Essay in Street Art. Please give Generously'. Passers-by assumed Mr Burpus' screams were part of the act and it was only when an old woman complained to the police that he was finally freed. "I kept calling for help," he said, "but people just said 'Very good! Very clever!' and threw coins at me." |
| How come you have to pay someone to rotate your tires? Isn't that the basic idea behind the wheel? Don't they rotate on their own? |
| Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a Danish!" |
| Why do people say ' Not for all the tea in China'? Are there actually people out there that would accept a deal if this were included? |
| Why is that sign in the public bathrooms that says "Employees must wash their hands before returning to work" also written in Braille? How does the blind person find the sign? And how do they know it says the same thing in English? |
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