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This is page 22 of 35 pages displaying a total of 522 Silly quotes.
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Fuck ye not with the lads, lest the lads fuck with ye.
      -- Dave
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
      -- Dave Barry
... thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
      -- Dave Barry
We all have to die some day, if we live long enough.
      -- Dave Farber
Yesterday was Chinese New Year. It's the Year of the Rabbit. And here's how dumb I am. I'm still writing the Year of the Pig on my checks.
      -- David Letterman
USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75 percent of the population.
      -- David Letterman
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
      -- David Moulton
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
      -- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, "No speaka English."
      -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
Looking at Capitol Hill is like looking at that Escher picture of the wild geese flying together: makes no fucking sense and occasionally shits on your head.
      -- Dennis Miller
Stop: Drive Sideways.
      -- detour sign in Kyushi, Japan
People who say that only young people voted on the Internet, those who didn't see Pele play, forget that children are not orphans. There's always a father who buys the computer and perhaps influences their vote. I won the people's vote.
      -- Diego Maradona
The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.
      -- Dizzy Deanexplaining how he felt after being hit in the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series
The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires.
      -- Dorothy Parker
There's little in taking or giving, There's little in water or wine: This living, this living, this living, Was never a project of mine. Oh, hard is the struggle, and sparse is The gain of the one at the top, For art is a form of catharsis, And love is a permanent flop, And work is the province of cattle, And rest's for a clam in a shell, So I'm thinking of throwing the battle - Would you kindly direct me to hell?
      -- Dorothy Parker

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