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Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.
      -- Helen Rowland
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattentions of one.
      -- Helen Rowland
When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last.
      -- Helen Rowland
When it comes to making love, a girl can always listen so much faster than a man can talk.
      -- Helen Rowland
When mother-in-law comes in at the door, love flies out at the window.
      -- Helen Rowland
When you see a married couple coming down the street, the one who is three steps ahead is the one that's mad.
      -- Helen Rowland
When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
      -- Helen Rowland
A woman marries the first time for love, the second time for companionship, the third time for support, and the rest of the time just from habit.
      -- Helen Rowland
Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch, and the sinner his justification.
      -- Helen Rowland
A woman's last resort is henna; a man's Gehenna.
      -- Helen Rowland

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