Famous Quotes from ExtremeBartending.com

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This is page 49 of 53 pages displaying a total of 792 quotes.
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I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross.
      -- Sam Ewing
Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a tenant longer to get out than a burglar to get in.
      -- Sam Ewing
If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light.
      -- Sam Ewing
Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and the family has to eat them.
      -- Sam Ewing
When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.
      -- Sam Ewing
Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.
      -- Sam Ewing
Wouldn't you like to weigh what it says on your driver's license?
      -- Sam Ewing
President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it.
      -- Sam Ewing
As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.
      -- Sam Ewing
Success is when your name is in everything but the telephone directory.
      -- Sam Ewing
Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.
      -- Sam Ewing
The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.
      -- Sam Ewing
The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor.
      -- Sam Ewing
Inflation is when you pay 15 dollars for the 10 dollar haircut you used to get for 5 dollars when you had hair
      -- Sam Ewing
A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious with a gold bracelet.
      -- Sam Ewing

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Scott Young, President and Head Instructor Bar Smart Inc.