Famous Quotes from ExtremeBartending.com

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What a woman says: "This place is a mess! C'mon, you and I need to clean up, Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!"What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
There are always three sides to every story; Your side, the other side and the truth.
I cannot praise the Preacher's eyes, I never saw his glance divine, He always shuts them when he prays, And when he preaches he shuts mine.
Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific, Fain would I fathom thy nature specific, Loftily poised in ether capacious, Strongly resembling a gem carbonaceous.
For perfect happiness, remember two things: 1. Be content with what you've got. 2. Be sure you've got plenty
Satan didn't fall. He was pushed.
Mother, I Want to Go to the Mountainside and Harden Myself with Physical Labor.
If there were an afterlife, Isaac Asimov would have written a book about it by now.
If Jesus loves me, why doesn't he ever send me flowers?
And Jesus said unto them, "And whom do you say that I am?"They replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood revealed."And Jesus replied, "What?
The West wasn't won on salad.
Some come here to sit and think; but I come here to shit and stink.
You pretend to work and we'll pretend to pay you.
Each time you suppress a sneeze, you kill 10,000 braincells.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

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Scott Young, President and Head Instructor Bar Smart Inc.