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205 Thoughts Quotes


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This is page 6 of 14 pages displaying a total of 205 Thoughts quotes.
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Stupidity should hurt.
      -- Esthyr Adney
You're like school on a Saturday... no class!
      -- Fat Albert
He has the vocal modulation of a railway-station announcer, the expressive power of a fence-post and the charisma of a week-old head of lettuce.
      -- Fintan O'Toole, film critic, on Quentin Tarantino
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
      -- Flannery O'Connor
They turned the country up on its side, and everything loose fell into California.
      -- Frank Lloyd Wright
Producing satire is kind of hopeless because of the literacy rate of the American public.
      -- Frank Zappa
You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER.
      -- Frank Zappa
She gave him such a look... Man oh man, if looks could kill. That one might have totalled a city block.
      -- Garison Kielor
I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.
      -- George Bernard Shaw
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
      -- George Bernard Shaw
Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend - if you have one.
      -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake!
      -- George Carlin
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last 9 months floating... then you finish off as an orgasm! Amen.
      -- George Carlin
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
      -- George Carlin
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat? What should I eat, someone else's cake instead?
      -- George Carlin

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