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When you cannot get a compliment in any other way, pay yourself one.
      -- Mark Twain
Why is it we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? Is it because we are not the person concerned?
      -- Mark Twain
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
      -- Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.
      -- Mark Twain
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
      -- Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
      -- Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again---and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
      -- Mark Twain
The advantages of the emotions is that they lead us astray.
      -- Oscar Wilde
After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relatives.
      -- Oscar Wilde
Alas, I am dying beyond my means.
      -- Oscar Wilde
Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.
      -- Oscar Wilde
Anybody can be good in the country; there are no temptations there.
      -- Oscar Wilde
Anybody can make history; only a great man can write it.
      -- Oscar Wilde
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
      -- Oscar Wilde
As soon as people are old enough to know better, they don't know anything at all.
      -- Oscar Wilde

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