3261 Bar Jokes In Our Database
150 Blonde Jokes
This is page 10 of 15 pages displaying a total of 150 Blonde jokes.
<< PREVIOUS 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | 10-15 NEXT >>
|
Blonde In First Class On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving." Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving." The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what should he do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this." He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so?" Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said, "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York." -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Blonde In Hospital When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life. "Uh, I hadn't really thought about it" replied the stunned surgeon. "You're the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy." -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Blonde Exposed The blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is exposed." "Oh. my God", says the blond. "I left the baby on the bus!" -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Blonde Leapers A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building. He suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, "Why did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?" The blond answers in a very weak voice, "We wanted to try out our new maxi-pads, with wings..." -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Blondes In A Bar The bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in comes four exuberant blondes. They head up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices join in raising the roof, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautiful child's puzzle of the cookie monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?" The blonde who brought in the picture pipes up, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight." Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2 - 4 years, but we put it together in 51 days! -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Maybe Blondes Are Not All Dumb A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends Emails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb... -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Blind Guy In A Bar A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blond and the bouncer is blond. I'm a 6' tall, 200-pound black belt veteran of the Special Forces. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2", weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6' 5", pushing 300 pounds and he's a wrestler. Each one of us is blond. Think about it, mister. You still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy thinks for a moment and replies, "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times." -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Blond Breakdown A blonde's car breaks down on the Interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.. Out jump two men in trench coats who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers.. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in history of this highway occurs. It's not very long before a police car shows up. The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What the hell is going on here?" "My car broke down," says the lady, calmly.. "Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?!" asks the cop.. And she said.... (This is good...) (Ready?) (Remember, she's a blonde...) "Those are my emergency flashers!" she replied.. -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Blonde Goes Fishing A blonde decided to go ice fishing. So, she gathered her gear and headed to the nearest pond she could find. She started to cut a hole in the ice when suddenly a booming voice says: "There are no fish under the ice!" She turned around startled and looked and didn't see anybody. So she went further and started to cut a hole in the ice. Again the booming voice:" There are no fish under the ice!!" She turned around again and then said: "Is that God?" "No," said the booming voice. "This is the ice rink manager!!" -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Hurting All Over A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over." "What do you mean?" said the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even THAT hurts." The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?" "Why yes," she said. "I thought so," said the doctor. "You have a sprained finger." -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
<< PREVIOUS 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | 10-15 NEXT >>
