3261 Bar Jokes In Our Database
103 Cultural Jokes
This is page 10 of 11 pages displaying a total of 103 Cultural jokes.
<< PREVIOUS 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | 10-11 NEXT >>
|
Taliban Rebels Fight The Americans A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One American soldier is better than ten Taliban". The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice then calls out "One American soldier is better than one hundred taliban". Furious, the taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The American voice calls out again "One American soldier is better than one thousand taliban". The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends then across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. Eventually one wounded taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap. There are actually two of them." -- The Jokemeister's free jokes (http://www.markfunk.com) |
|
How We Know Who Is A Taliban Member The President has asked that we unite for a common cause. The hard line Islamic people cannot stand nudity and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife. Tonight at 7:00, all women should run out of their house naked to help weed out the terrorists. The United States appreciates your efforts, and applauds you. -- The Jokemeister's free jokes (http://www.markfunk.com) |
|
The Texan ________________________________________________________________ A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large." Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows." The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those?" The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?" -- The Jokemeister's free jokes (http://www.markfunk.com) |
|
The Texan Baby ~~~~~~ A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and announced that his wife had just produced a typical Texas baby, weighing a whopping twenty pounds. "WOW!" was the response from everyone at the bar. Two weeks later the Texan returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth? How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "10 pounds." The bartender said, "Why? I know that babies lose some weight after birth, but ten pounds? He did weigh twenty pounds, didn't he? What happened? The proud Texas father said, "Just had him circumcised!" -- The Jokemeister's free jokes (http://www.markfunk.com) |
|
The Kiss AN IRISHMAN, AN ENGLISHMAN AND CLAUDIA SCHIFFER There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carraiges and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there. The Englishman was thinking: 'The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.' And the Irishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that English bastard again .' -- The Jokemeister's free jokes (http://www.markfunk.com) |
|
West Virginian's Failed Pick Up Line A good ole boy walks up to a good ole girl and says "Howdy. How you like to come up to my place and have a little fun?" "Well, I've heard about you good ole boys. Where exactly are you from?" "I'm from Kentucky, way up in the hills." "Oh, I've heard about you guys from Kentucky," she said, "you guys will screw pigs and goats and cows and chickens..." He interrupts in a very indignant tone, "CHICKENS?!" -- The Jokemeister's free jokes (http://www.markfunk.com) |
|
West Virginian's Useless Relatives West VA life "I'm ashamed of the way we live," a young wife says to her lazy husband who refuses to find a job. "My father pays our rent. My mother buys all of our food. My sister buys our clothes. My aunt bought us a car. I'm just so ashamed." The husband rolls over on the couch. "And you damn well should be," he agrees. "Those two worthless brothers of yours ain't never gave us a cent!" -- The Jokemeister's free jokes (http://www.markfunk.com) |
|
West Virginia Lottery Two West Virginians drove to a gas station in Ohio for a fill-up because they heard about a contest being offered by the station to patrons who purchase a full tank of gas. When they went inside to pay, the men asked the attendant about the contest. "If you win, you're entitled to free sex," said the attendant. "How do we enter?" asked a West Virginian. "Well, I'm thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right, you win free sex" "O.K. I guess 7, " said the West Virginian. "Sorry, I was thinking of 8," replied the attendant. The next week, the two west Virginians returned to the same station to get gas. When they went inside to pay, the one Kentuckian asked the attendant if the contest was still going on. "Sure," replied the attendant. "I'm thinking of a number between 1-10 and if you guess right, you win free sex." "2," said the West Virginian. "Sorry, I was thinking of 3," replied the attendant. "Come back soon and try again." As they walked back to the car, the first West Virginian said to the other, "You know, I'm beginning to think this contest is fake." "No way," said the other. "My wife won twice last week." -- The Jokemeister's free jokes (http://www.markfunk.com) |
|
Virginia's Drivers' Test Subject: Drivers Test ------------------------------------------------------------------------ STATE OF VIRGINIA DRIVERS LICENSE APPLICATION Last name: ________________ (Check appropriate box) First name: First name: [_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue [_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo [_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann [_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee [_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen [_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: [_] Farmer [_] Mechanic [_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress [_] Un-employed [_] Dirty Politician Spouse's Name: __________________________ 2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________ 3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________ Lover's Name: __________________________ 2nd Lover's Name: __________________________ Relationship with spouse: [_] Sister [_] Aunt [_] Brother [_] Uncle [_] Mother [_] Son [_] Father [_] Daughter [_] Cousin [_] Pet Number of children living in household: ___ Number of children living in shed: ___ Number that are yours: ___ Mother's Name: _______________________ Father's Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank) Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box) ___ Total number of vehicles you own ___ Number of vehicles that still crank ___ Number of vehicles in front yard ___ Number of vehicles in back yard ___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks Firearms you own and where you keep them: ____ truck ____ kitchen ____ bedroom ____ bathroom ____ shed Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_ Do you have a gun rack? [_] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain: Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: [_] The National Enquirer [_] The Globe [_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest [_] Rifle and Shotgun ___ Number of times you've seen a UFO ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO How often do you bathe: [_] Weekly [_] Monthly [_] Not Applicable Color of teeth: [_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow [_] Brown [_] Black [_] N/A _ How many? Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: [_] Red-Man How far is your home from a paved road? [_] 1 mile [_] 2 miles [_] don't know -- The Jokemeister's free jokes (http://www.markfunk.com) |
|
Vermont Party A man named Sam had been in the newspaper business for 25 years when he finally became sick of the stress. So he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Vermont as far from humanity as possible. Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door... He opens it and there is a big, bearded Vermonter standing there. "Name's Enoch... Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge... Having a party Saturday... Thought you'd like to come." "Great," says Sam, "after six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thanks for inviting me!" As Enoch is leaving, he stops, "Gotta warn you though, there's gonna be some drinkin'." "Not a problem. After 25 years in the newspaper business, I can drink with the best of 'em." Again, as he starts to leave Enoch stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too." Tough crowd, Sam thinks to himself. "Well, I get along with people. Don't worry, I'll be there. Thanks again!" Once again Enoch turns from the door... "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too." "Now that's not a problem," says Sam, "Remember I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there... By the way, what should I wear?" Enoch stops in the door one last time and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us." -- The Jokemeister's free jokes (http://www.markfunk.com) |
<< PREVIOUS 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | 10-11 NEXT >>
