3354 Bar Jokes In Our Database
152 Blonde Jokes
This is page 14 of 16 pages displaying a total of 152 Blonde jokes.
<< PREVIOUS 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 | 10-16 NEXT >>
|
Air Head The blond called up the airline and asked, "How long are your flights from Los Angeles to Phoenix?" The agent answered, "just a minute." At which, the blond thanked him and hung up. -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
The Bet A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50. The redhead said "I can't take this, you're my friend". The blonde said "No. A bet's a bet". So the redhead said "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money". "Well, so did I", said the blonde, "but I never thought he'd jump again!" -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Judy's Car Monica meets up with her blonde friend Judy as she's picking up her car from the mechanic. Monica asks, "Everything ok with your car now?" "Yes, thank goodness," Judy replies. "Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?" "Yeah, but he didn't. I was SO relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid." -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Blonde Detectives A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."(Side pose...) Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "For God's sake, What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?!?" Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "Now think hard before giving me a stupid answer. This is your suspect, how would you recognize him??" The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm...the suspect wears contact lenses..." The policeman is surprised and speechless... "Wow! I can't believe it ... it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation??" "That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear..." -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Two Elderly Blonde Ladies Two elderly blonde ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?" The other replies, "Oh sure I do." The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?" The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver." After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?" -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Run Over Blonde A woman is lying in the road after being run over. The driver of the car that knocked her down comes to her aid. "Are you all right?" he asks. "You're just a blur," she says, "So my sight is clearly affected." Concerned, the driver leans over the woman in order to test her eyesight. "How many fingers have I got up?" he asks her. "Oh shit!" she replies, "I must be paralysed from the waist down as well." -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Married Couple A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear." -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Compact Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!" -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Caught Cheating A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!" -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
|
Capitals A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W." -- Poddys (http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes.htm) |
<< PREVIOUS 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 | 10-16 NEXT >>
