3354 Bar Jokes In Our Database
200 Bar Jokes
This is page 3 of 20 pages displaying a total of 200 Bar jokes.
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An old lady walks into a bar - bar joke An old lady walks into a bar with a duck under her arm. A scraggly old drunk staggers over, takes one look, and says, "Jeeeez, that's the UGLIEST thing I ever saw!" The woman turns her nose up at him and says, "This happens to be a fine looking stately creature! Go away, you horrid man!" The old drunk yells, "Lady, I was talkin' to the duck!" |
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A leprechaun walks into a bar - bar joke A leprechaun walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and says, "That'll be $2.50." The leprechaun puts two dollar bills on the bar and starts walking away. The barkeep shouts, "hey, You're a little short!" |
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Charles Dickens walks into a bar- bar joke Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?" |
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A magician- bar joke A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar. |
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A book walks into a bar- Bar Joke A book walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Please, no stories!" |
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A Soccer ball walks into a bar - bar joke A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicked him out. |
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A guy walks into a bar with his dog- Bar Joke A guy walks into a bar with a dog. "This dog is the smartest dog in the world." he says to the bartender. "He can answer any question." "Oh yeah?" says the bartender. "Prove it!" The man turns to his dog, and asks, "What is over our head? " "Roof!" "How does bark feel?" "Ruff!" "Who is the greastest baseball player who ever lived?" "Ruth!" The bartender, growing tired of the show, throws the man and his dog out of the bar. The dog then turned to the man and asked, "Should I have said Joe Dimaggio?" |
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A guy walks into a bar - bar joke A man walks into a bar, and finds a friend of his nursing a very large drink. "Fred!" he says. "What is the matter?" Fred slowly looks up from his drink and says, "My wife of thirty years just ran off with my best friend." "But Fred!" exclaims the man. "I'm your best friend!" Fred turns back to his drink and smiles. "Not anymore." |
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A guy walks into a bar - bar joke A guy walks into a bar in the top of the Space Needle. A guy says to him "Hey, if you jump out the window, the air currents will spin you around a couple of times and then you'll fly right back in. Watch." So the man in the bar leaps out the window and what he says happens. He spins around and falls back in the room. The other man says "WOW! I want to try!" So he leaps out the window and falls and splats on the ground. The bartender says to the first man "Geeze Superman, you're really mean when you're drunk." |
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A Doctor walks into a bar - bar joke A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazlenut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!" "No, I'm sorry", replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc." |
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